1) the toilet button
2) the washing machine, which takes two hours and is the size of a shoebox
3) the laundry rack, on which our clothing dries to a crisp
4) the burner settings: 1 being the highest, 6 being the lowest (the acquisition of this knowledge requiring the sacrifice of 2 precious eggs and a slice of mystery cheese)
5) the pervasive belief that carpeting/area rugs/anything cushy underfoot is something for which only soft, dirty, foreign cretins feel the need
6) the mullet trend
7) the shopping cart deposit
8) the lack of blue jeans that aren’t vacuum-packed to young people’s gams
9) the woman at the sprawling Saturday market who pours fresh milk from a stained, green bucket that looks as though it must have, at some point, also hauled manure
10)the man down the street who, although he wears an American-flag-print headband, sings only Lithuanian songs so sadly it would break your bursting American heart
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Well TOTO you really are not in Kansas ANYMORE!!
ReplyDeleteSo what did you buy at the market?
Anyone got milk?
Haha, this sounds just like Russia! Even though Lithuanians would hate to be compared to Russia, they are kind of the same!!! It's so funny and true about the milk from the dirty bucket, and the jeans so tight in girls (AND boys!) asses that you wish your eyesight wasn't as good... Oh, and please remember, whatever milk you buy, you have to boil it too!!! I am not kidding, the milk is not rid of the same bacteria as the water, unless you buy a good brand from a cardboard carton in the store. I know my mom always boiled it for us when we were little! (Don't you hate the mullets?)
ReplyDeleteWhat did I buy at the market? Too many plums (because I didn't know how to ask for fewer), a raw piece of chicken that someone snatched from the heap with greasy fingers and plopped into a sandwich bag, a head of garlic, and two apples.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the tip on the milk, Katia! I would definitely not have boiled it without your advice. (I've recovered from the water, by the way, and will not order anything with ice from a restaurant again! I actually have boiled everything else, but that one slipped past.)
Thanks for the comments! I miss you both...
Janet Reedy commented today about enjoying your blog, so I've been catching up tonight. As to no. 7 in your list, Jeff had a memorable outing at the store where we used to do our nearly daily shopping in Germany. Arriving at the store, he realized he didn't have a 1 Mark coin for the cart deposit, muttered something, I'm sure, but then ventured into the store confident in the knowledge that he could manage just carrying the few items he needed in his arms. Well, he was doing fine until he got to the checkout... where he proceeded to drop his container of milk--he was probably starting to stress over the imminent checkout race. Bending over to try to retrieve what he could of his milk, he was so startled by the cashier yelling, "Hallo" and waving a cloth of some sort at him, that as he drew up his head to acknowledge the assistance, he realized he had a long, slimy string of drool hanging from his chin, that was mingling with the milk on the checkout floor. After some hurried wiping and a futile attempt to regain his composure, Jeff was informed by the cashier that he owed 41 Marks. Scrounging through his wallet, he came up with 50 Marks, to which the cashier--not wanting to have to hand out a bunch of change--unsympathetically inquired, "Haben Sie nett 1 Mark?" (Don't you have a 1 Mark coin?) Sigh.
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